"GOING TO BED WITH YOUR WORDS"

What a beautiful thing my Teddy told me tonight. "going to bed with your words" as if they were something sweet to go to bed with. awwwww. Sorry, he had me melted again. All day I was suffering because I thought he doesn't want to be my bf anymore. I had to send him a message in the morning because I don't want him sad, but the sad one was me because I didn't received a reply. I went with my mom to do some earnings and later on I went to work.
Things were as usual. Talking with people, some stupid, some angry, and most of them with out manners and very informal. I had this urge to be with my bear again, but I had to stand still. Then, I realized that I have a big problem. I am not week or confused or insecure anymore, I have everything in order. My mind is in order and I have goal. the goal that I have had for ever. But my Teddy is making me weak, is making me insecure. I really wanted to tell him that I know where to go, but I am not going where I want to go because I love him. He can't do anything about it, and this is something I have to solve by myself. I chose to stay and try to enjoy and embrace that feeling, and if he hurts me, well, that would be my punishment for felt in love so quickly.
I finished reading "Steppenwolf" by Herman Hesse. I realized many things about that book, mostly to embrace life, and some of the stuff my bear is doing wrong (he thinks he does it right).
I didn't wanted to do it, but I asked my bear to call me.
He did, and I am happy he did. He told me those sweet words that I will take with me for ever, because I realized he really loves me and he is not thinking in leaving me behind. He didn't want to hang up the phone, nether do I. We stay there talking with each other as if it were the first time we talk by phone. We stay there as two people that love each other, as we are. Then, I came on line, and he was there. Some words came to my mind and I had to tell him, that even thou I felt in love that quick, to love him is not an easy task. It has been very hard for me, and as everything that requires an effort, he worths it. He didn't answer immediately as if he had to come back to Earth. The words came directly from his MSN. I didn't have to ask for them. He wrote " I love you".
Then, I had to turn my MSN off because my family wanted me to be with them, but I, after been so badly hurt and tormented from my thoughts, got released by the words that my Teddy wrote.
Now, I will go to bed with your word as well, my Teddy bear.