MY COMPUTER IS AN ASS

I have been fighting with it all morning, and now, after work, I was writing all my morning and it just deleted everything that I wrote. Thank you for nothing ass h....!

Well, now that I did my catharsis, I can continue. I was saying that I woke up in the morning thinking about what JC told me. "he is a monster". I analyzed it, and he might be right in some stuff. He has done some wrong things, but not as terrible as he thinks they are. But I can't tell him that, he has to realized by himself. Of course I would like him to apologize for some of the stuff I feel I have been hurt, but he apologizes about things that I really care less.
The other stuff that bother me was the thing about my mom. I have been angry with her. Angry because she has Ca and I can't do a thing about it. I want her to live! I want her to see me get realized. I want her to see me reaching my goal, to see me happy with JC. But I don't know how long she is going to last. I really want her to see me happy.

I went to work. I send JC a message of a song I translated. I thought he will not answer me, as usual, but he did. That made me happy. he is falling in love as much as I am.

He called me (good thing), but unfortunately I couldn't talk with him in that moment. I call him in my break. hehehe I spent all my break talking with him. I explain him about my feelings of everything that has been happening with my mom. I invited him to have dinner at my place, with mom, so he can meet her. So my mom can meet my love before she says good bye. He didn't say no, but he said he had to think about. I don't know why, I took it as a "no", but it has been already two "NO" that he has told me that really hurt me. I know I accepted him with the problems he has in his head, and he wants to solve this problems before going in to a relation, but he already accepted the relation. I don't understand my life.

I found him online, I knew that if I found him online he would be very short in his way. I was wrong. He say good bye soon, but he was quite lovely. I needed to talk with someone about my problems, but there was no one. I thought in Bastian, but he never get on line. I talk with Fat Cat, the guy that help me with the CRA thing. Well, I talk a bit with him.

It helped, as well to write all my frustrations in this blog. Hope everything turns out well. I hate my job, mostly the schedule that is wringing nothing but troubles to my life.