LO MAS HERMOSO ES LO MAS HORRIBLE...

Lo más hermoso es lo más horrible, que a su vez es lo más hermoso. ¿Cómo diferenciar entre lo más horrible y lo más hermoso? Solo dime que "no me amas" pero dimelo de frente, mirandome a los ojos.

That's the way I feel right now. I love JC and I know he loves me, but for some circumstances that are out of me, I can't manage the time I would like to spend with him. I love him, and I can't do anything about it. I know that for the same circumstances he can not express the same thing about me. I would like to force it; I would like to give him the means to have full access to me, as I have full access to him. But once more, I don't want to force the situation. I have been there in which people I know want to force the situation with me. Once more, I haven't love them, and my bear loves me. Is it true? Does he love me?

I don't know. I like to picture me as a sport club in which people have different priority access. He is the only one that has priority level one. This means that he has full access to do whatever he wants to do. Unfortunately he uses it as if he had priority level4. I feel it as a waste. He and I can do so much more!

One day my Teddy, just don't give up on me. I will be there.